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In the “old days,” as we well know, aging parents were brought to live with you or “put” in a nursing home, as they needed more help with daily living. Today, there are all kinds of options, and many of us are involved in marketing them.

A relatively new book by Paul and Lori Hogan (Stages of Senior Care: Your Step-by-Step Guide to Making the Best Decisions) is most helpful for adult children and others concerned about aging loved ones. It’s a kind of primer of what’s out there in terms of care and guides people through the process of making difficult family choices. There are many books on the subject available, but this one is more of a reality check, and especially clear and practical in its presentation.

The Hogans based their book on their research and experience of 15 years in the home care business.

It walks the reader through the maze of options available, along with the pros and cons of each, approximate costs, and checklists that are useful. It also includes hospice care information and end of life choices.

One of the most unusual aspects of the book is a section on dealing with difficult relationships. They point out the obvious – if you have a tense, strained relationship with your parent, it probably won’t get better if they come to live with you.

However, the discussions are helpful and eye-opening. Proceeds from sales go to their Home Instead Senior Care Foundation. For more information, visit http://www.stagesofseniorcare.com/.

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The recent conversation began when a colleague, who does research for 55+ communities, remarked via email to a group of marketers to the mature, “We’ve tested ads that use the word old in a very accepting and progressive way, only to find our respondents hating the word and the idea in most contexts. (They hate) even the photos that went with it. These were 50 to 68 (years old), salt-of-the-earth belonger types – and didn’t want to go near the idea of old.”

As marketers, we’ve been looking for a suitable replacement for the word old for at least three decades. David Wolfe, author of the Ageless Marketing books, thinks that verbal Botox (a younger vocabulary for the aging process) wouldn’t be necessary if we’d just buck up and see aging and old as reality. Good for some, not so much for others; just like any other phase/phrase – the terrible twos, teenager, thirty-somethings.

He says, “Real is real. At my age (77) I know that I am senior, elderly, old…and none of these descriptors cause me a second thought. Euphemisms don’t do a thing for me. On occasion there have been contests to come up with substitute words for the traditional terms by which we know older folks. Generally, old folks wonder what the problem is.” Then he quoted another member of the e-dialogue, who encourages calling the audience that is our market simply, “people.”

In the U.K., older people are called geezers, and it’s a term of endearment there.  In the U.S., there was a sports magazine that honored older athletes and had geezer in the title. It didn’t do well here.

As I read what these experienced people had to say about the perfect descriptive words to label someone older, it became clear that the younger the thinker, the more fight in them against using the words senior or old.

The younger members of the e-conversation were adamant about the need for verbal Botox. They didn’t mind a discount because they are of a certain age, but please, please don’t refer to them as “seniors” or “old,” if you value your health. 

The lesson here may be that our older prospects can handle being referred to as seniors – they even know they’re older; their adult children, the Boomers, prefer not to be reminded or labeled now (or maybe ever). 

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Oh! How many times in the past few days have I wished for a little more service around my house? We’ve had snow and more snow in Kansas City, and we’ve been spoiled with fairly mild winters the past few years. As I was clearing my very-prone-to-ice driveway for the fourth time on the same day, I took a break and called my uncle in Michigan.

Uncle Ray enjoys life in a CCRC. When I called, he said he’d been playing a Wii game and hadn’t paid much attention to the weather, except to say that the community staff had cleared everything and that his daughter hadn’t even had trouble parking when she came to visit.

I’ve spent most of my adult life extolling the virtues of retiring to a community when you reach a period in your life when you want to simplify things and have an opportunity to work less and play more.

When my uncle started to “sell” his easier lifestyle to me, it made me laugh out loud. He must have spent five minutes talking about the services at his home and how you really can “just call room service,” if that’s your choice. He confessed he does use room service when he prefers to watch a game on his own instead of with his friends. If it’s a “big” game, he’ll join the crowd in one of the community’s living rooms.

He has breakfast nearly every morning with a bunch of cronies and enjoys swapping stories about his WWII experiences and about the love of his life, his late wife Lu.

I’m always telling people about the lifestyle at a community for their loved ones who are alone or lonely. When Aunt Lu was in a nursing home and didn’t even recognize her beloved husband anymore, he drove from his home to be with her twice a day for two years.

There was a huge space in his life after she passed and the family began to urge him to move. Since he’s been among new friends and neighbors, he’s been blossoming (can you say that about men?). He’s having fun. He doesn’t worry about the weather. He has new listeners for all those tales his family knows by heart, and when he wants to – he just calls room service.

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There is a lot of talk these days about the new economic reality and its effect on senior living marketing. Certainly it is changing the kinds of questions prospects are asking — especially adult children, who are getting more and more involved in the retirement living decisions of their parents.

David Solie, author, blogger and blogtalk radio host, recently asked a senior housing professional for a list of questions that would help aging parents and their adult children screen potential senior living communities. He was looking for the kinds of questions that might go unanswered … or even unasked in better economic times.

Here are a few of the questions shared with the audience:

Parent company:

• Who owns and operates the community?
• How can I find out about the parent company’s fiscal health? Are there documents such as annual reports or audits that I can have copies of? And do you know how I can get them?
• Is the company for-profit or not-for-profit? What’s the difference?

Staffing:

• How are new residents greeted? Is there a welcome or orientation program?
• How is the transfer to a higher level of care determined?
• Is there someone on staff whose job is to manage transitions from one level of care to another and coordinate communication with residents, family members and physicians?
• Are there state and community regulations that determine who is appropriate for each level of care?

Is your sales team ready for these non-typical questions? Can they answer them effectively? Is the sales team aware, for instance, if your community has an annual report, when it comes out, or what an audit is?

To meet these challenging times head on, it would be to every CCRC sales team’s advantage to be ready with answers to these questions. Perhaps it would be worth the time investment to brainstorm as a team the types of uncommon questions that might be asked, and then role play the answers to build a comfort level. When every sale counts, don’t just focus on the questions asked 80% of the time. The other 20% could make or break a sale.

Also remember that your receptionist is a member of the sales team and needs to be aware of how to handle these and other questions.

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We’ve all wandered around large department stores searching for help. Some stores have started using large service centers for check out, but please don’t ask any questions of the clerks, because most can’t be bothered.

Of course, that’s an overstatement and some places are well known for their good service. But these places are getting harder to find, and it’s sad to report that among those not paying much attention are some very nice retirement communities.

Why doesn’t Training 101 for all employees/workers/associates at a community include the basics about their place of work?

Not too long ago, I was on a tour of a wonderful CCRC and was visiting with a woman who had been in service in their kitchen for more than 15 years. She loved her job, she loved the people and they loved her … and she had NEVER BEEN ON A TOUR of the community.

She came to work, did her job and went home. What did she tell her friends? How could she be an ambassador for the CCRC? My mind was boggled.

That’s extreme, but many times you’ll get people on the phone at a community who can’t answer the most basic questions. If the only person to answer the phone late at night is the security guard, why can’t he or she be briefed on services and offerings? Why can’t they be instructed to ask for your name and number so someone can call you back?

Too often you get, “I don’t know.” “Can’t help you there.” “You’ll have to call back tomorrow.”

In these challenging times of what we’re calling the new reality of senior housing, let’s take a look at those who tell our story (and that’s everyone!), and be sure they have the training and access to information to put the community’s best foot forward 24/7.

People in your employ have a real need to know about your community, so they can share the news with others.

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